


School Daze

by Cinaed



Series: The Best of Carolina The Teenage Witch [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sabrina the Teenage Witch Fusion, Developing Friendships, Family Bonding, Gen, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 05:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16906941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinaed/pseuds/Cinaed
Summary: Of course we had to include Church's first day at school on our list! There are so many iconic moments in this episode. Caboose's friendship powers activating at first sight of Church, Church being irresponsible with his spellbook, Carolina and Church bonding over mortal homework, Carolina struggling with basic magic, Church giving Grey and Kimball the fifteenth-century equivalent of the finger, Church experiencing the first of many, many Caboose hugs....





	School Daze

**Author's Note:**

> One more installment of this fic before our mid-season finale! 
> 
> Thanks goes out to folks in chat and Aryashi for helping with this chapter and making some fun suggestions for the 1x09 Honorable Mention.

_Dear Doctor,_ __  
__  
_I shall admit to some surprise when news of your indiscretion reached the Council. An illegitimate child, hidden away on Europa! What will your wife say when she learns of it?_ __  
__  
_Perhaps you are aware of your son’s application to take the witch's exam early. His request was denied, of course. As you know, we make no exceptions in regards to witch law. Every witch must take their exam at age eighteen, whether witch or half-mortal. After some consideration, the Council decided that he should stay with Doctor Grey and Ms. Kimball. I'm certain that your daughter has several questions for him about his mother._ __  
__  
_Sincerely,_ __  
  
_Malcolm Hargrove, Subhead of the Witches Council_

 

* * *

 

“Welcome to Westbridge, James,” Simmons says.

Carolina watches. To the clone’s credit, this time he manages not to roll his eyes at his alias, though he’s still sulking that Grey saddled him with the name James Church. He nods tersely.

Simmons turns towards the rest of the class. “We’ve already set up lab partners for the semester, so are there any volunteers to have a third--”

“We will!” Caboose says.

“Yeah, sure,” Tucker agrees as Caboose beams and waves at the clone.  

“Really?” Simmons says, skeptical and suspicious, and then looks like he wants to bite his tongue. He flushes. “I mean, that’s good of you to offer! James, take a seat with Tucker and Caboose.”

Carolina’s sitting with Wash towards the front of the room, but Caboose wouldn’t know how to whisper if his life depended on it. “Hi, Carolina’s brother! Isn’t it nice to have a sister? I’m so lucky I have seventeen.”

“Seventeen? That can’t possibly be true,” the clone says flatly as Simmons starts writing the day’s assignment up on the board.

“It is,” Tucker says. “I’ve met all of them. So, Jimmy--”

“No.”

Tucker blinks. “No, what?”

“I’m not a _Jimmy_. Do I look as though I’m still in leading strings?”

Carolina turns her head in time to catch Tucker’s confused look. “Dude, what does that mean? And if you’re Carolina’s brother, why do you talk like Robin Hood in the wild west?”

The clone’s expression sours. If he dislikes his name, he hates the lie about his parentage that Grey came up with even more. “We didn’t grow up together.”

Tucker thinks about that for a few seconds. “So what, you’re twins? It’s a Parent Trap thing?”

“I have no idea what that is,” the clone says.

“Where did you grow up?” Tucker demands, loudly enough that Simmons turns and gives him a look. Tucker doesn’t notice, too busy staring at the clone. “Mars?”

“Tucker, people can’t live on Mars,” Caboose says, shaking his head. “There’s no oxygen.”

Simmons clears his throat. “If you’re done with your interrogation, Tucker, I’d like to start class.”

“Actually, I want to hear the new kid’s answer,” someone says. “He’s got a weird accent.”

“Come on, everyone. No more questions about James, okay? Why don’t we use a little of that curiosity in today’s class instead?” A general lack of enthusiasm greets Simmons at this suggestion, and his shoulders slump. “Guys, I promise we’re getting to the explosions soon. We need building blocks first!”

“Oh!” Caboose says, lighting up. He leans forward, almost knocking the clone out of his chair with a swing of his elbow. “Where are the blocks?”

Simmons frowns. “No, Caboose, I meant.... You know what? Never mind. Everyone, pull out your homework from last night.”

Rummaging around in his backpack, Caboose informs the clone, “We’re going to be friends, Church!” His voice lowers, but the loud whisper still carries. “Maybe best friends!”

“Hey,” Tucker says, offended. “What am I, chopped liver?”

The clone tries to inch away from Caboose. Caboose just keeps smiling, even when the clone mutters, “How is this my life?”  

 

* * *

 

“Church! Church! Wait for us, Church!” Caboose follows the clone out the door, dragging Tucker behind him.

The clone looks like he’s contemplating running, or turning Caboose into a frog. “We’re not friends,” he says. “I don’t even know your name. It can’t possibly be Caboose. No one would name their child that.”

“Oh!” Caboose thrusts a meaty hand at the clone. “Hi! I’m Michael J. Caboose! And this is Lavernius Tucker!”

The clone stares at Caboose’s hand. Then he sighs and takes it, wincing as Caboose’s enthusiastic handshake almost lifts him off the ground. He sounds slightly winded, or maybe he’s just hesitating over his alias, when he says, “I’m...uh, I’m James Church.”

“Nice to meet you, Church!” Caboose says, beaming. “Do you want to come over to Tucker’s tonight after practice? He has a lot of video games.”

The clone looks nonplussed.

“Just give in,” Tucker advises. “We sat next to each other in third grade and he’s still bothering me a million years later. You’re going to be Caboose’s friend whether you want to or not.” Despite his words, he’s grinning.

Carolina laughs. “Peer pressured into friendship,” she says. The clone turns a flustered glower on her. Definitely not her father, she thinks, not for the first time. She’s struck by a thought. “Why not hang out with them? Grey and Kimball would be interested to hear you’re making friends.”

The clone blinks at that. He looks thoughtful, and she hopes he’s thinking the same thing: that friendship with a few mortals might be evidence in their case to prove he’s a real person. “They would, wouldn’t they?” He turns back to Caboose. “Fine. You can show me how to play these video games.”

Tucker stares. “Show you…. Dude! You’ve played video games before, right? Or arcade games?” At the clone’s blank look, Tucker throws up his hands. “Seriously, did you live on the moon?”

“I’d like to live on the moon,” Caboose says thoughtfully. “Even though it's not made of cheese, like some people might have thought, because other people told them it was. It would still be a really nice view of Earth.”

 

* * *

 

Westbridge isn’t a big campus. All of the sports teams practice pretty much on top of each other. The track team uses the track around the football field, which means Carolina runs laps with Wash and watches Caboose take out most of his teammates during practice. The only guy that Caboose doesn’t plow through is a giant guy called Maine, who has to duck to get through doorways and sits at the back of the room because he’s too big for the desks. Caboose is tall, but Maine still towers over him. Maine shakes him off like a bear brushing away a fly.

“I’m pretty sure Maine and Caboose don’t need the rest of the team to win,” Wash says between breaths.

Sarge ordered them all to run and keep running until he said to stop. Judging by the way even Carolina’s legs are aching, that was several miles ago. Carolina may have won her first race with accidental magic, but Wash’s relay team came in second, which, according to Sarge, might as well have been last place. She’s pretty sure the entire track team is going to either come first in the state or die of exhaustion.

The clone is sitting in the stands, a book propped on his knees. It’s on her next circuit around the track that Carolina realizes he’s not reading a textbook. She’s torn between exasperation and genuine alarm. “Be right back,” she tells Wash.

She gets to the fence and jogs in place so that Sarge won’t start yelling. Then she hisses at the clone, “Put that away. There are people everywhere!”

He doesn’t look up from his spellbook, the one Kimball borrowed from a friend when his application to take the witch’s exam early was denied. “Please, we’re surrounded by self-absorbed, idiotic teenagers,” he says dismissively, flipping a page. “If any of them did notice, I’d say that I’m reading some fantastical novel.”

“Fantasy novel,” Carolina says. He shrugs at the correction, and she feels her exasperation turn to irritation. “You shouldn’t even bring it to school!”   

He looks up. If he sounded dismissive before, now he sounds condescending. “Really, Carolina. I’ll put it away if you insist, but it’s not that serious.”

“Right,” Carolina says through gritted teeth. “Actually it _is_ that serious. Wash and Niner think my dad is a two-timing jerk and keep giving me these looks--” The clone winces and flushes. “--and you’re not even _trying_ to act normal! Can you please just do some homework? Or talk about MTV? Anything that will keep Tucker from thinking you were raised in a factory.”

“I am trying! Excuse me for needing a little time to adjust,” the clone snaps, still red-faced. “I would’ve been perfectly happy to stay at Emily’s and not interact with any mort--”

“Hi, Church! Hi, Carolina!” Caboose bellows right in Carolina’s ear.

She’s pretty sure she levitates without any use of magic. The clone clutches his spellbook to his chest and yelps in shock.

Oblivious to their surprise, Caboose leans against the fence and beams at them. His sweaty hair is plastered to his head, his helmet tucked under one arm. “I love football. It’s so much fun! I think I like it better than wrestling sometimes, because you get to be on a team. Wrestling’s fun too though. Church, do you want to go play some games now?” He hesitates and then adds earnestly, “Do you like video games, Carolina? You can come too.”

Most of his words go in one of Carolina’s ears and out the other. He doesn’t say anything about the spellbook so he can’t have heard their argument or noticed the book. She smiles at him. “Thank you, Caboose, but I’m not really into video games. You and….” She bites her lip. She darts a quick glance at the clone, who’s hastily stuffing the spellbook into his backpack. “You and Church should have fun.”

The clone glances up at her, blinking startled green eyes. Then one corner of his mouth lifts. His voice is dry as he says, “I suppose it’s better than Jimmy or Leonard.”

“Okay,” Caboose says. He vaults over the fence. Carolina has a second to wonder that Sarge didn’t beg Caboose to join track before Caboose says, “Tucker’s mom is picking us up today! She’s really nice. Do you like Wendy’s?”  

The clone -- Church -- looks faintly exasperated. “I haven’t even met Tucker’s mother yet. How would I know if I like her?”

Caboose laughs so hard that he snorts. Then he slaps Church on the back, ignoring Church’s outraged expression. “That’s funny. Wendy, like a person!”

When it becomes clear Caboose isn’t going to explain, Carolina says, “Wendy’s is a fast food restaurant. You’ll like it.”

“Oh,” Church says, looking intrigued. “That sounds promising.”

“Carolina!” Sarge roars from the other side of the field. “The football team might have better things to do than practice, but we don’t! Quit your yammering and give me three more laps before you leave!”

“Goodnight, Sarge!” Caboose yells back.

There’s a pause. Then Sarge says, gruff and weirdly fond, “Goodnight, Caboose.”

Carolina sighs. “I’ll see you at the brownstone,” she tells Church, and then jogs back to where Wash is still circling the track.

She’s almost out of earshot when she hears Church ask, “So this Wendy owns the restaurant? Will we meet her tonight?”

 

* * *

 

Carolina finishes the last of her homework. She stands up, stretching her aching muscles, pleasantly sore after practice and a long bath. She knows the difference between good and bad pain. Sarge almost crossed that threshold for her today. She can’t say the same for Wash, who was hobbling as he got into his mom’s car.

She’s mid-stretch when Church bursts into her room. “Carolina, I need money.”

She lowers her arms, alarmed until she realizes his tone is urgent but there’s no fear in his face. She relaxes a little. He’s clearly not asking for money to make a run for it. “Money?”

“Yes, Tucker has these gaming consoles and video games, and I need them. Unfortunately, they all fall under the magical copyright law, so I have to purchase them.”

“That sounds expensive,” Carolina says, although she’s mostly guessing. She’s heard Connie talk about video games-- apparently she and her boyfriend play a lot-- but she doesn’t know much about them other than the obvious. “My allowance isn’t that big.”

“Yes, but at least you have one. I’m currently living on Vanessa and Emily’s charity. Buy this for me and I’ll pay you back.”

Carolina starts to be amused. She tilts her head and asks, “How do you plan to pay me back? Are you going to get a job? Or ask my dad for an allowance?”  

He looks appalled by both suggestions. “No and no. I’ll come up with something.”

“Why do you have to buy your own? Can’t you play on Tucker’s?”

Church suddenly won’t meet her eyes. “I can, of course, but it was readily apparent that I’d never played before and I… There’s a steep learning curve, so I need to practice--”

Understanding dawns, and Carolina bites her lip so she won’t laugh. “You were bad at it.”

He bristles. “I wasn’t _bad_  at it. I’m a beginner!”

“Right,” Carolina says. “Well, no offense, but I’m not spending my allowance on something I’m not playing.” When his face falls, she adds, “Maybe I’ll get you a game for Chanukah.” Even as she says it, she gets hit with a bittersweet pang. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are only a few weeks away. She’s never celebrated the New Year without her parents.  

“Carolina,” he says, as close to whining as she’s ever heard him.

She’s learned not to compare him to her father, at least out loud, but sometimes she wonders where the similarities and differences lie. Was her father like this as a teenager, prickly and easily offended and embarrassed, and prone to getting fixated on new things? Maybe that’s why he became a scientist.

“But how can I improve if I can’t play?” Church demands when she shrugs. He looks five seconds away from stomping his foot.

On second thought, Carolina thinks, there was no way her father was ever this much of a brat. She shrugs. “You’re making friends, right? Caboose and Tucker will let you play more. And if Tucker keeps asking why you’re so bad at it, just fall back on the Toolik lie.”

“Right,” he says flatly. For any witch who asks, James Church grew up on the distant Europa while his mom experiments with spells to make the moon easily habitable for witches. For any mortal, he grew up on a distant field station in Toolik, Alaska, where his mom studies arctic biology. “It would be so much easier if I had a gaming console of my own.”

“What would be easier?” asks Grey from the doorway.

“Church needs money to impress his new friends,” Carolina says without considering her words. Then she sees the look on Grey’s face.

“Friends.” Grey says the word like she’s tasting it. She takes a step towards Church, studying him. Judging by the gleam in her eyes, she’s about to start peppering him with questions and potentially spells. “So the first day went well? No confusion or mistakes?”

“It was fine,” Church says, looking annoyed.

Carolina hesitates, remembering the spellbook in plain view. But she doesn’t say anything. Since Grey’s decision to keep Church at the brownstone, he and Grey and Kimball have been in a weird holding pattern. Grey and Kimball keep refusing to think of him as a person but also continually giving him advice on how to fake being a normal teenager. Some of the advice is good, but even with her own lack of a normal American childhood, Carolina knows that some of their advice is a few decades or centuries out of date. Church just gets more and more irritated with every passing day.

Now his chin juts out and he adds, a little defiantly, “I made some friends. And Mrs. Caboose invited me to Friday dinner when she drove me here.”

“How interesting,” Grey says. “And you didn’t experience any confusion at all? You remembered your alias and cover story?”

Church glares. “Once again, my memory is fine. I can remember a fake name and a few lies to give to mortals.” He pauses and fiddles with the straps on his backpack. “Speaking of mortals, I should do my homework. You know, like a real person.”

Sarcasm drips off the last sentence, but Grey only laughs. When she leaves, Church glares after her. Then he sighs and throws his backpack onto Carolina’s bed. “Why couldn’t I be homeschooled?” he asks, not for the first time.

“Because it would look weird if I went to school and you didn’t,” Carolina says, also not for the first time. She’s sympathetic. The food in the cafeteria hasn’t improved, and while she’s mostly on top of her schoolwork, sometimes she finds frustrating gaps in her knowledge. At that thought, she hesitates. “Do you need help with your homework?”

He looks ready to bristle again. Then he sighs. “Most of my classes aren’t likely to be a problem, but history is another matter. For a country in its infancy, America has accomplished more than I thought.”

“Try not to say that in class,” Carolina advises him, amused as she reaches for her history textbook. “Or else Tucker will start thinking you’re an alien. Or that you grew up in a cult.”

He rolls his eyes, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. “Fine. I’ll start talking like Tucker. Would that help?”

Carolina laughs. “Please start talking like him. I want to see Doctor Grey’s face when you say ‘dude’ in front of her.” As Church looks intrigued by the possibility, she holds up her textbook. “Should we quiz each other?”  

“Please,” he says.  

 

* * *

 

“Try the spell one more time,” Kimball says, her arms folded.

Surrounded by oranges, Carolina scowls. She fights against the embarrassed heat in her face. “I don’t know why I have to learn this particular spell. Maybe if I could transform rocks into apples and actually feed people, the spell would work, but that would be _charitable_ magic, so….”

Her rebellious muttering earns a sharp look. “Carolina, I’ve been doing this for centuries. Trust me when I say that this is one of the most basic transfiguration spells known to witches. You need to learn foundational magic. Without that, you can’t hope to control your magic. Do you want your track meet incident to happen again?”

“No,” Carolina says with a wince. She slumps against the couch cushions. Her finger has actually started hurting from pointing it so many times. She clenches her hand into a fist and tries to relax. She shakes out her hand and steels herself for another attempt. “Can we try a different fruit? I don’t really want apples.”

Kimball raises an eyebrow. “Fine. Try--”

The front door slams open. Church strides inside with a loud, “Hey, I invited Tucker and Caboose over, so everyone needs to be decent!” His smug grin falters briefly at the sight of oranges covering every surface of the living room, and then returns full force as Kimball says blankly, “You invited who over?”

“My friends,” he says, injecting more smugness into those two words than Carolina would have thought possible as Grey pokes her head into the room. “We’re going to watch TV in my room. Oh, and I promised them pizza.”

Before anyone can react, Tucker and Caboose walk in. They both blink at the sight of the oranges, and then Caboose grins and reaches for the nearest one. “My mom has fruit bowls, but I like this better,” he says, beginning to peel it.

Tucker looks confused, and then clearly decides not to ask. Instead he jams his hands into his pockets and glances between Grey and Kimball. Carolina doesn’t recognize his expression for a second, and then she realizes that he’s smiling politely. “Thank you for having us over, Doctor Grey, Ms. Kimball. My mom is going to pick us up around eight-thirty.”

“Yeah, thank you,” Caboose says cheerfully, after swallowing a mouthful of fruit.  

“My room’s upstairs and to the right,” Church says. As Tucker and Caboose start towards the stairs, Caboose snagging two more oranges as he goes, Church turns towards Grey and Kimball, who both look disconcerted.

He smirks at them, and then does a weird gesture, flicking his thumbnail from behind his front teeth, that makes both women go from nonplussed to furious. A muscle actually jumps in Kimball’s jaw, and Grey’s hand rises, like she’s going to use magic before she glances towards the stairs and stops herself.

Church’s smirk widens, and he says, poisonously cheerful, “Don’t forget the pizza for my friends,” and then bounds after Tucker and Caboose.  

Both women seem speechless with rage, leaving Carolina to wonder what that gesture meant. To distract them, she clears her throat and asks, “If Church has friends over, does that mean I can invite Wash and Niner for dinner this weekend?”

“You can always have friends over, though a warning would be appreciated,” Grey says absently, still frowning after Church. There’s a deep furrow in her forehead. She exchanges a look with Kimball, one Carolina can’t decipher. Then Grey smiles brightly. “Well! I think forty minutes before I send up pizza is reasonable. Carolina, do you have any preferences?”

“Uh,” Carolina says. She prefers no pizza at all, but she thinks back to her last visit to the Slicery, where Niner, Wash, and Connie ate pizza and mocked her salad. She shrugs. “Pepperoni is a safe bet, I think? Or extra cheese.” She also remembers Caboose buying three meals at lunch. “And you probably want at least two pizzas.”

Kimball looks squarely at Carolina and says, “We’ll try the sp-- we’ll try tomorrow with a different fruit.” She glances around. Humor momentarily softens her expression, the anger leaching from her features. “I guess I’ll go make some homemade orange juice.”  

Grey, meanwhile, is still smiling. She has a familiar gleam in her eyes. Carolina isn’t surprised when she says, “Perhaps I should go and ask them what they--”

“I’ll go,” Carolina says quickly. She bolts for the stairs before Grey can come up with another excuse to study Church interacting with Tucker and Caboose. Tucker already thinks Church is weird. No need to add fuel to the fire by Grey observing them like they’re specimens.

His door is slightly ajar. When she approaches, she hears Tucker say in a forced casual tone, “So, Carolina...is she interested in anyone? You know, at school?”

There’s a beat of silence, then--

“I will kill you,” Church says flatly. Carolina can’t tell if he’s joking or exaggerating, but it doesn’t matter because Caboose heaves a loud sigh and says, “Tucker, if you can’t hit on my sisters, you can’t hit on Church’s.”

“I’m not hitting on her! I was just asking!” Tucker sounds defensive. "Maybe I know someone who's interested in her!" 

Carolina pauses in the hallway, amused and embarrassed in equal measure. She hasn’t thought about dating anyone. Even now it’s a weird concept. She has enough to deal with with track and school, new friends, magic lessons, and everything with her family. Dating just seems like an extra complication. She hopes Tucker's just curious and not actually interested. She makes a mental note to ask Connie for advice. 

She pushes the door and leans into the room, feigning obliviousness like she hasn’t been eavesdropping. Everyone’s eyes fly towards her. Tucker stares, clearly wondering how much she overheard. “Doctor Grey wanted to know what kind of pizza you guys want.”

“Oh, meat lover’s, please!” Caboose says. He’s sitting directly in front of the TV, a growing pile of orange peels next to him. He smiles a sticky grin at her.  

Tucker fidgets on the bed. He’s still squinting at her, but when she just gives him a bland look, he relaxes. “Uh, trust me when I say that you’ll want a whole meat lover’s just for Caboose. Church and I can split another meat lover’s and a small pepperoni.”

“And we want garlic bread,” Church adds. He has his smugness mostly in check now, but when he meets Carolina’s eyes, she can see the satisfaction in his face. “Lots of garlic bread.”

“Got it,” she says, smiling at him.

She starts to close the door behind her, but not before Church sighs and says, in a voice that’s a cross between her father’s lecturing tone and Church’s usual grumpiness, “Caboose, don’t sit so close to the TV. It’s bad for your eyes.”

“Yeah, Caboose, listen to Dad,” Tucker drawls.

Church turns pink. “Shut up, Tucker.”

 

* * *

 

Church keeps Tucker and Caboose in his room for most of the night, but Grey pounces as soon as the headlights of Tucker’s mom’s car fill the driveway. Caboose and Tucker don’t even get to the bottom of the stairs before she’s there, smiling up at them.

“Next time you’ll have to eat dinner with us,” she says as she walks them to the front door, Church trailing behind her. Carolina, who moved her homework downstairs when the boys started blasting MTV, watches as Grey adds, “I’d love to get to know you both!”

Some of Church’s smugness falters at that. He scowls. “I don’t think--”

“Yes, ma’am.” Tucker is back to being weirdly formal and polite. Then his shoulders loosen and he asks, “That pizza was _awesome_. Where did you get it? Did a new place open up?”

“Uh,” Church says, drawing out the sound. He laughs nervously. Carolina’s struck all over again by what a terrible liar he is under pressure. He rubs the back of his neck. “She-- It’s-- That’s a good question. Where did you get it, V-- Doctor Grey?”

“Old family recipe,” Kimball says from the love seat.

“Dude,” Tucker says, apparently too impressed for the time being to wonder how they could make three homemade pizzas in forty minutes. He says to Church, “I thought you invited us over just so you could avoid sucking at video games, but I get it. If my mom could cook like that, we’d never go to anyone else’s house-- not that my mom’s a bad cook, or Caboose’s, but that was _really_ good pizza.”

Church bristles. “I don’t suck at video games. I’m just a novice.”

“Nah. You’re a newb _and_ you suck,” Tucker informs him cheerfully.  “See you tomorrow.” Turning towards Grey and Kimball, he adds another formal goodnight and then heads out to his mom’s car.

Caboose lingers. Before anyone can say another word, he wraps Church into a bone-crushing hug, lifting him clean off the floor. “Church! I had so much fun!”

Church freezes. All emotion except for surprise goes from his face. For a long second he just dangles in Caboose’s arms. Then a flush starts in his cheeks and spreads, to his ears and down his throat. He tries to shove Caboose away, but it’s like a gnat trying to push an elephant. “Caboose, release me!” The words come out scratchy and wobbly.

“Okay,” Caboose says agreeably, and sets him down. He smiles, apparently unconcerned by the way Church is glaring. “Goodnight, Church! I’m so glad we’re friends!”

Everyone’s quiet for a moment after Caboose leaves, which means they can all hear Church’s slightly unsteady breathing. Carolina, watching him, knows he’s in the grip of some powerful emotion, but for once she can’t read his expression. Still she’s reminded of her father, the way he startles every time her mom surprises him with a hug or a kiss, like the idea of physical affection is baffling. Then he gives himself a little shake. He clears his throat, and sounds almost normal when he mutters, “I thought Americans were Puritans. Trust my luck to find the one American who doesn’t understand the concept of personal space.”

“He seems very fond of you already,” Grey remarks with a giggle.

Church directs narrowed eyes at her. “Yes, you would know, wouldn’t you? I noticed you spying on us tonight. I expect privacy next time.”

Grey looks amused. “This is my house. What makes you think you have any right to privacy?”

Church turns an unexpected look of appeal on Kimball, who looks startled to be addressed. “My dear Vanessa, tell her to be reasonable. What if Caboose or Tucker had recognized her in that Mariah Carey video?”

Kimball snorts. “First, I’m not your dear anything." She pauses, and sighs. "Second, Grey, that's a good point. You can’t use such flashy magic around mortals.” A bit of dryness creeps into her voice. “What would the Council say?”

Grey pouts. “One or two memory spells won’t hurt the boys. And I need to gather data on how the clone interacts with new parties!”

"Memory spells?" Carolina asks, but no one answers her. 

Church looks momentarily pleased when Kimball sides with him, but at Grey’s words, he starts scowling again. “When will you stop treating me like an experiment?” he snaps, but both Kimball and Grey ignore his question as well.

“Grey, you need to do it without potentially revealing magic to mortals,” Kimball says. "You know how I feel about using magic on them. Find another way." Then she turns to Carolina and pulls three rocks out of her pocket. She sets them on the back of the couch and steps back, folding her arms against her chest. She nods towards the rocks. “Now, try that spell with your favorite fruit.”

Carolina sighs.   

**Author's Note:**

> **Honorable Mentions**
> 
> 1x09 - Some Call It Magic - The episode, on its surface, seems like regular sitcom silliness. Carolina and Church overhear Simmons talk about magic, and spend the rest of the episode in a series of increasing shenanigans trying to figure out if he's a witch rather than just using common sense and asking Grey or Kimball. Of course Simmons was talking about his bimonthly Dungeons and Dragons campaign. "I guess we're the only witches in Westbridge," Carolina says as a silent Sabrina walks behind her in the hallway, and everyone watching lost their minds at the potential upcoming crossover. If only we knew back then what the episode was _actually_ foreshadowing!
> 
> 1x11 - Tell the Truth and Shame the Witch - What’s not to love about the show’s take on the Friday the 13th rule of being able to tell mortals about your witchy lifestyle? At this point Carolina is still mostly uninterested in her magic except to master the basics, so it’s up to Church to mess things up by telling Tucker and Caboose about being a witch. He immediately regrets it as his two friends start making the most ridiculous requests. Though let’s be real. We’d ask for a Bouncy House too.


End file.
